Part 2 (Warming Up) >

There are two strikes against getting this birth story out in any sort of concise form. First of all, M’s birth was insanely long. I had my first contraction on a Wednesday morning, and she was born Saturday morning. So there’s a lot to cover. Second, I love to talk. You know when someone’s drunk, and they’ll just talk and talk about the stupidest stuff? That’s me. When I’m sober. I’ll blather on about stuff forever, and I like to get into all the nitty-gritty details, so there’s no way this birth can be condensed down into one nice, neat little entry. There will be multiple parts – I don’t even know how many yet. I’m writing this so I can remember it (in case I’m ever stupid enough to decide to do this again), and also so I can remember the details for M. But I’ll do my best to make it interesting, and hopefully you won’t be bored to tears.

M is my first child, and as such, I didn’t have a good idea of what to expect when it came to labor and birth. You can read about it, take classes, talk to friends, consult a psychic, but it’s kind of like riding a bike – until you’ve actually done it, you don’t know what it’s like. But I like to feel prepared, because I have this silly delusion that being “prepared” will allow me some modicum of control over my life. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Early on, I decided I would like to try to give birth naturally. I know lots of women go into labor with this idea, and most of them end up with epidurals. And whenever I mentioned my desire for natural childbirth, most moms fell to the floor, laughing hysterically. On the other hand, I was well aware that women have been giving birth for thousands of years without pain medication. Of course it hurts, but how did we survive so long without epidurals? I found these two “worlds” to be completely irreconcilable. And I would flip-flop from one to the other – one day thinking I was crazy to even consider doing this without drugs, the next believing I could handle it.

But I figured I would at least do everything I could to increase the odds that I would succeed at a natural birth. I signed up to give birth at an Alternative Birth Center (ABC) – contained within the hospital, but set up to support natural childbirth. There are hot tubs in each room (nature’s epidural, or so they say), queen size beds, birth stools, birth balls, etc. The only pain medication available in the ABC is an intramuscular shot of Stadol. They monitor the baby intermittently with a hand-held monitor (that can be used while you’re in the hot tub). I would not have an IV, and I would be allowed to move about, and eat and drink as I pleased. But it was still in the hospital, so if anything went wrong (or I realized I was completely crazy and needed drugs), I was literally a few steps from L&D and the latest and greatest in modern medicine.

I also signed up with an OB practice that’s considered “mother-friendly” – their c-section rates are low, they’re the on-call practice for the ABC, and my doctor was incredibly respectful and never dictated to me. She would educate me, give me her opinion, and then it was up to me to make a decision.

R was tasked with getting our hot tub in working condition so I could use it while laboring at home (remember – nature’s epidural). I knew the longer I stayed at home, the more control I would have over what happened to me. So anything I could do to make laboring at home more pleasant was added to our to-do list.

And lastly, I hired a doula. I’d read studies that showed epidural rates dropped dramatically when a laboring woman was attended by a doula. Yeah, R would be there to support me, but what the hell does he know about giving birth? He’s never done it, he’s never seen it, he’s never helped a woman through it, he knows nothing about the myriad pain-coping techniques, he doesn’t know what’s normal and what isn’t. He would be there to support and encourage me, to tell me he loved me and cheer me on – and I would need all that – but he wasn’t well-equipped to help me cope with the pain. After doing some research, I ended up hiring a monitrice – Gloria. Although no longer practicing, Gloria had been a midwife for many years and therefore had much more experience and many more skills than the average doula. When labor started, Gloria would come to my house and in addition to helping me with pain-coping techniques, she would be able to check my dilation, monitor the baby’s heartbeat and do various other midwife-type things. Once we moved to the ABC, she would act as a normal doula. And because my husband is the best husband in the world, he was totally on board with this. He didn’t see Gloria as competition, or fear that she would step on his toes. He was grateful to know there would be someone there to help him. Gloria didn’t come cheap, but I know now that hiring her was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Although I did the best I could to stack the deck in favor of a natural birth, I knew I had no idea what was in store for me – and remember, I like to be prepared. If you’ll recall, I’ve had a lumbar fusion, and it just so happens that an epidural is normally inserted between L4-L5 – where I now have two plates, four bolts, and a big block of bone. So I made an appointment with an anesthesiologist at the hospital, and brought in some recent x-rays. Our conversation wasn’t exactly reassuring. The x-rays satisfied him that my back was in good shape, and he said they could insert an epidural just a little bit higher in my spine. That was the good news. The bad news was that there was no way of knowing how much scar tissue was present, so there was a possibility that it could block some or all of the medication, and the epidural would be partially or completely ineffective. And, having to place the epidural higher in my spine meant it was likely I would get less pain relief during the pushing phase (when the pain is lower).

I was less than pleased to hear this. But it only strengthened my desire to prepare for a natural childbirth, because I now understood there was a chance I would give birth without pain relief whether I wanted to or not.

I also discussed worst-case scenarios with my OB. For example, knowing that an epidural might not work, what would happen if they needed to do a c-section (which is normally done with an epidural for anesthesia)? We decided that if it wasn’t an emergency, we would place the epidural and give it a chance. But if it was an emergency, they would go straight to general anesthesia.

I can’t say how glad I am that I educated myself and actively worked to arrange the birth I wanted, while also preparing for other scenarios. Rationally, I knew none of this would give me any “control” over what my body had in store for me, but at least I was prepared to make the best decisions I could, regardless of what happened.

So everything was in order, and then I just had to wait.

Part 1 (Preparation)
Part 2 (Warming Up)
Part 3 (Ready! Set! Wait!)
Part 4 (Ready! Set! Wait Some More!)
Part 5 (Are We There Yet?)
Part 6 (I Think I Can, I Think I Can, I Think I can)
Part 7 (A New Life Begins)
Part 8 (Epilogue, For Me)
Part 9 (Epilogue, for my daughter)